After receiving Patrick's quarterly report from school, it got me thinking......
With our children, when things are good... they are good. BUT when things are BAD, man it sucks! Patrick has been in EI (early intervention) since he was 16 months old and I have received many upon many many evaluations and reports from countless therapists and psychologists through the last 2.5 years. I remember getting my first evaluation from a psychologist. It had the generic beginning...
"Patrick is a very pleasant 16 month old boy. blah blah blah... " As a parent, you like all the fuzzy sunny stuff about ur child. Your heart is high....
Than it got into the nitty griddy...
Patrick didnt not complete this....
Patrick didnt not attempt that...
Patrick got easily frustrated...
Patrick showed signs of stress...
Patrick had no eye contact...
Patrick couldnt do (blank) task... x10
Patrick couldnt sit still...
Patrick didnt acknowledge anyone in the room...
Patrick didnt respond to his name...
Patrick mouthed objects...
Patrick threw testing materials...
Patrick hit himself...
Patrick had zero interest in toys/ "playing"...
Patrick had zero language...
And than your heart sinks..... This IS my child. As I agreed with everything that the psych wrote, it still sucks to read.
"OK, well at least bc of this, he will be getting the help he needs... AWESOME" I was able to push the negatives aside and move on. That was 2.5 years ago.
So we began our journey through EI and of course there was improvement and of course I put a silver lining on everything. I could only see the positives in Patrick and as long as he is improving, IM HAPPY. Until another report came my way. They always had the same laundry list of "didnts" and "donts" and "refuses". Of course they changed a bit but still were PACKED with black and white negatives... and I would always cry.
" For every negative comment, it takes 1,000 at-a-boys to erase that one negative one." Dr. Phil
Isn't that true!
So I stopped reading them. I know my child. I see him everyday. I sit in on EVERY therapy session. I see what he has a hard time with. SO why do I NEED to read about it on a piece of paper? Read all the negatives. All the things he is having a hard time with. All the things he is NOT doing. Its like a slap in the face, every so months when those papers came. SO why would I subject myself to all of that?
It doesnt help my son, if I think of him in negatives. I understand the purpose of these reports.....I do.... and I understand if it didnt have negatives, he wouldnt get the help. Because, lets face it, he needs it.
Now that brings us to current time and once again I get a report in the mail. This would be the first report I have ever gotten from his preschool, so I began to read it with caution. It had the same generic beginning but for ONCE it was filled with positives.
WAIT?!?!
So I read through OT, than PT, than Speech... and before I knew it, I had read through the whole thing. Something I hadn't done in 2.5 years.
It was refreshing. Honestly.
Why do words from professional mean so much? Even though I had known he has made great strides in school. It was nice to read.
What is it about these papers that hold so much worth? Enough worth to makes us bummed when it is bad and beaming when it is good. We know our kids, we are involved parents. We talk to there teachers and therapist, get updates on a regular bases.
Lets not hold worth to these papers... Lets just enjoy our kids. Lets give thanks for the process, for sure, but there is no need to let them make us feel like crap. We put enough pressure on ourselves about our children. We dont need a professional to just recap it for us every 3 or so months!
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